YAY Mate !
Every wednesday I talk about Psychology, Persuasion and the Art of Convincing anyone you aim to target. Today I will talk about a thing that hit me hard when I watched the latest Star Wars Movie about Han Solo. And I must stop here to tell you that if you do not know or never watched any Star Wars you shall stop right there and leave. You and I we won’t be able to go along, that’s a fucking shame because I felt it quite right between us, it started good but you destroyed everything. Really mate, go away and go back to your place. Start by opening your favourite TV show platform and go fucking watch Star Wars. No kiddin you really should, your life will surely be better !
More seriously, I had a moment of lucidity watching Solo in the movie theatre. This charismatic captain of the well known Millennium Falcon always with his pal Chewbacca.
Charismatic he sure is. But despite this… his personality is harsh, bold, unpleasant and pessimistic. However he is the one that got the beautiful Princess Leia at the end. And Leia that’s something !
To me persuasion brings a lot of seduction on the table. In true, we look to bring a person or a group of people that we targeted to do whatever the heck we decided they were going to do… And in order to do that we should succeed to :
to put them at ease
to catch their attention, to make them like us
let them fall for us, hoping to reach the finish line and make love in beautiful landscapes of Naboo, in the most gentle Jedi light saber way and with the tongue expertise of Jar Jar Binks
Then how the… Han Solo made it ? How did he get the hottest and hardest girl to get ? Despite the fact they were a lot of younger and more handsome captains surrounding him at the Rebellion ? It meets a stereotype we all have : that in order to seduce the person we want to be with we must become the kind Prince charming , go and get flowers and chocolates. That is the stupidest idea I ever heard, for real. And when you think about it for a second, that becomes obvious. At school and during all our childhood we all witnessed that hot girls were looking for bad boys. They were into danger, bullshit situations… And true loyal and interesting boys had to watch, powerless.
Later on some of these Princess dreams of flowers and chocolates get back but only for a short period of time… They even marry sometimes the one who does these things. The heartbreaker is that most of the time and after a period of time, short or long, depending on the situation… The girl leaves with another one, funnier, a little bit more good looking… But instead proposing no plans, just adventurous experiences.
1. Attention (first “I” of A.I.D.A.)
So why do we continue to explore techniques that failed many times in front of us ? Why playing the Prince charming, the flowers and the chocolates ? Han Solo he doesn’t give a glance at flowers, and chocos… He simply does not know what it is. Instead he spends all his time during every Star Wars movie to be unpleasant, rude and push the Princess to the limits. He makes her feel she is far from being the privileged Princess whom everyone adores and obeys for him. And did you observe Léïa’s reaction? Rather than fleeing, she responds to these indirect attacks, she plays her game and when she succeeds in doing things that displease Han Solo … She lets him know quickly and clearly. In fact, the two are dredging, the two are attracted as fuck, they can not even separate for too long as the game they are playing gets captivating by the minute… One wanting to prove to the other that he can beat the hell out of him or her… Dominant / dominated, the waltz begins and the music last for the eternity.
We must remember that Léïa still has everything to loose and has every reason to not want to spend any further time in the presence of Solo. She comes from a wealthy family with an Intergalactic Senator, yes, just that … And at the beginning she stays only because she is forced to stay in the ship of this unscrupulous Pirate that is Solo (Bastien if you hear me… et caetera et caetera !) who is constantly fleeing the biggest bandits in the galaxy.
Yet Léïa gets to be attracted by the Bad Boy Han Solo, enter his game and refuse to leave and be reasonable. Considering marketing, we would talk about the technique of “push and pull”. That is to say that as soon as the person is interested, we have to remove the product from her side creating the envy (for example by showing him the price) PUSH … then when he recoils considering the price which begins to dissuade him to go further, we might tell him “No, but wait I’m super nice and just for today I make 30% off just for you …” PULL suddenly he starts to return to the marketer who takes the opportunity to rebalance conditions, entry barriers, last minute criterias to finally get the product… then reproduce the technique until in the end the critical mind and the defense mechanisms of the target completely fall apart.
The push and pull is just another form of the dance, of the seduction waltz. You know it like me, we have never been so in love and desperate to obtain the object of your desire … that when it seemed to escape us … The ease, the assured happiness, the safety is far from being what we are looking for. A fucking stereotype, that’s what it is. We are looking for adventure, passion, a hectic life that will allow us at the end to say: I had a hell of a ride !
2. The interest
But that’s not enough. The princess, once Han Solo is taken by bandits and put in the fridge… she could have easily walk out of the game, but instead she sticked to it. She would totally be entitled to seek for a more suitable husband, a man that deserves her given her rank and her aspirations. And yet, she remains, even as she won the game with Han Solo. In your opinion, how is it even possible ?
Once the first phase of “get her attention”, is established, Solo went to the second stage: to arouse the real interest of the one he had caught in his nets. When the princess was in deep wookie shit, imprisoned by the big bad guys… Well the bad boy Solo did not think twice, he came to the rescue of Leia. The exact same he kept repeating he couldn’t stand.
Yeah you might opposed me that he’s a mercenary, he might do it for the galactic credits. Or even to put it behind the ear of the princess (French personal expression) to show her that he is the strongest. Back in the game maybe ? But that theory my friends doesn’t stand a chance when you know that at the end, Solo invest himself for real in the Resistance. He even becomes one of the most famous and crucial elements.
Let’s keep it simple : Solo, he saw a girl that gets under his skin and he did as any human who knows how to do it would do it : he gave himself the means to deserve the price he was going for. After having caught her attention he aroused her interest.
He proved to her that despite his opinions, his interests or even his security, Solo was ready to risk everything to come and save her. And that is something not a lot of Senators or rich people in “Leïa’s world” would have done and show so much bravery. Solo gets more and more interesting as the time goes by. Leïa knows she can count on him and she starts to not be able to do it without Solo.
Whatever what made Solo the Han Solo we know or by analogy the color or the price of a product you want to sell … You have just built a huge perceived value : trust. Which represents a lot for anyone looking for the best thing.
And there Solo he also understood an crucial point of the Art of Convincing people : to get under the skin of someone, you must be ready to lose it. So yes you will lose a lot on the way at first… and then you will realize the more you send away the more it will come back… They will run towards you having in mind that they have to prove themselves, they deserve what they want and here it is Jackpot, it’s party time, Chewbacca starts to move his fur on a Michael Jackson song…
We came from a relationship where it was difficult to even have the attention or the respect of a Princess … you now have instead a normal person who is ready to do everything to deserve our love, our time and all that we could give him … we have been able to bring her to the point we wanted : the desire part.
3. The desire
You nearly made it all the way but you must not take if for granted. You hold her in your hand and she is ready to do a lot. But only to a certain point. You’ll notice that desire is an intrinsically sexual notion: we desire the object of our envy and we switch to a sentimental point of view.
Our thinking is completely falling asleep, disappearing in the limbo of the Force. We abandon ourselves, we are almost hypnotized, in a second state and if there is no element coming to remind us of the reality (for instance forgetting the little kiss at the right time, or for example that the price of a product is really disproportionate compared to the perceived value…) well people, everything is going well for now
And to get right to what interests you the most… knowing if Léïa and Solo did it keeping the light on or not… Remember that the more you spent doing the foreplay… Which is here the first stage, the Attention, allowing us then to get to the second part Interest… The more you will have ensured the success… The more your partner, your target, your customer will be in heavens and accept the dark side
Desire is something that must be taken care of, cuddled, protected. It takes time to emerge, but if you are aiming for the ultimate desire, the one who consumes the person until he can no longer make a reasoned decision… that one… takes time. And it can fall completely apart as quickly. Fuck, it would be a shame to miss the thing after doing half of the Universe and escaping from the Death Star isn’t it?
Stop there. Realize how far we’ve came… Because now is the time. You finally can use the usual techniques you know about psychology, marketing and persuasion. And I strongly advise you to not do them before this state because you will meet strong defenses against them. But now the person is mature, it is a fertile ground and it is up to you to choose the good seed that will produce the natural environment in which you want it to evolve in the future. Yes, because you are smarter than others since you are training, educating, reading and listening to me… So you have a long-term vision and you want to create a world, a unique universe in which the person or the group of people you are targeting will not only register but return, again and again.
Here are soome examples of techniques that you could implement: you could include quotes from famous people in your pitch… in order to gain even more legitimacy. And if you really want to knock down all her defenses, you might even use an old trick : to bring these quotes by saying that it is not you who say them, it is one of your friends who brought them to you recently… Like this the possible aggression, the defense mechanisms will have no target and will quickly fall. An idea is more acceptable when it comes from a third party. An old trick told again and again for GrandPa’ Obiwan Kenobi.
And what about orgasm then? Yeah, I am sure you will forgive me for this joke, I could not help myself. We geared up, we nearly reached to point of non return, we are close to orgasm but now we have to take action, this is the 4th and last step.
We know now with the movies Rogue One and Solo… Leïa and Solo did not just have fun with the lightsaber, they kissed both sides of the Force and they released us a nasty Sith knight who fucked the all thing down. In a few words, they took action, they had a result.
To convince just for the sake of convincing is a strong mistake. Because you may have managed to superbly build your thing all the way, changed even the way the person understand the world but if you do not concretize the idea by the action, she will feel frustration.
And you know what it means when she’s frustrated… you’re going to get a hell of a lot of a ride, she will try to make you pay and not in a kind way of dealing with things ahah
Especially since several psychological phenomena enter the game at this time : loyalty or the theory of commitment … But the article, the video, the podcast begins to be a little long I’ll talk about it later. But only if you subscribe. Because if not, I will not be able to make you travel and bring you finally to the intergalactic orgasm that you deserve … (!)
Oh, come on, we’ll be fine!
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May the force be with you !